IN WHAT FERTILE SOIL DOES AN AMANDA GORMAN GROW…I.E., WHERE DID SHE GO TO SCHOOL, WHERE DID SHE FIND THE MAGIC?

That National Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman’s performance at the inauguration was dazzling is an understatement. The momma bear in me quickly kicked in to understand where she spent her time pre-college. Of course, there are a multitude of factors that contributed to making Gorman Gorman, but I was specifically interested in her school life because it is the body of water in which the rocks that are our children are shaped. We are mostly fully formed humans by the time we land on college campuses…so I wanted to know specifically what kind of school environment can give rise to this kind of magic.

In case you didn’t Google it the second she delivered her closing line, Gorman attended New Roads School in Santa Monica, California, a K-12 progressive school. Their website greets you with the following:

We the people of New Roads liberate young individuals through the pursuit of justice, equity, and opportunity; raising generations of powerfully compassionate advocates in an intellectual habitat driven by authentic diversity—ultimately empowering them to disrupt systems that produce inequality and build a more just future.

Liberate young individuals. Intellectual habitat. Authentic diversity. They had me at hello.

My schooling was traditional—read: academic rigor, college prep, plowing through school work until I was bug eyed and bone weary. A major pro of the experience was academic confidence which served me for many years. Because it was what I knew and was comfortable with, I chose the same type of school for my children. I was speaking with a wise friend and asked her if she thought kids at academically inclined schools could achieve the mastery of the spoken and written word that Gorman displayed. She (half) joked, “not without a rubric to follow, a thesaurus and like three tutors…but they would know where to put the commas.” I laughed a nervous laugh.

It’s hard to know where the perfect alchemy lies. I’m no stranger to extreme thinking, so I will be honest with the questions that plague me. Does a progressive philosophy yield unfocused, navel gazers who mutter to themselves in French? Do hard-charging prep schools produce insufferable and “fragile thoroughbreds?” Where are we most likely to find the magic? The answer is obviously not binary, but I am not sure what it is.

As a side note, I did a massive eye roll when I read that a male classmate of Gorman’s at Harvard criticized her writing for being “too confident.” The instinct to keep women, particularly women of color, in their place is honed by many sources, and I wonder what impact the classmate’s school had on his inclination to check Gorman in that way. I, too, received feedback intended to thwart my ambitions in school, and it affected me deeply. I was told that I was “too intense” and to essentially tone things down so that I could be more palatable to others. Only recently are women buoyed by the zeitgeist to call b.s. when people (even other women) blow out our candles in the hope that theirs will burn brighter.

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This week, my elementary school daughter had to complete four essays, several hours of math, vocab and spelling exercises, along with online practice and two assessments. I am immensely thankful that my daughter is in such conscientious hands (and also acknowledge the privilege inherent in being able to say that this is the case)…but I also wonder where is the time to become Amanda Gorman. Schools really can’t win because if they weren’t firing on all cylinders, parents would be in a twist. The complain-y emails would never cease. Are the kids falling through the cracks in Covid? What if they go through life never knowing how to add fractions? But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I worry about my daughter finding the space and time to think, imagine and question. How do I make sure she knows where the commas go but also aspires for more?

Schools provide community, but not always heart. They prepare, but it is the luck of the draw if they also authentically inspire. Upon reflection, I think it is unrealistic to outsource this pursuit. I believe it’s on me as a parent, and I am committing to being more intentional about seeking heart and inspiration for my daughters. I am grateful to Amanda Gorman not only for her beautiful words but for a subliminal reminder to make sure to make room for magic.  

Xo -P

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