GWYNETH AND GOOP--PART DEUX

I CAN’T QUIT YOU…

Would you be surprised if I told you that my first deep dive into Gwyneth and Goop (and why we love to hate on it/her) in April 2021 generated the highest number of views of any of my 18 posts? No, right? It’s because, love or hate her, we’re all kind of obsessed with what she’s up to—i.e., what does she know that we don’t know?

And this is probably why I found myself coughing up the four figures to attend her most recent In Goop Health summit a few weeks ago in L.A. after a four-year gap. The last one I attended was just before Covid and was sorely underwhelming—I swore not to return. But I’ve been craving some out of the box inspo, and, just when I think I’m out, Goop lures me back in.

As GP herself might say, I did the work so you don’t have to…here is my “en media res” take:

• The event is at Milk Studios, Hollywood. I wonder if it’s the first time many of these women have traveled this far east in Los Angeles.

• New Balance is the sponsor, and they’ve dressed scores of young helpers in monochromatic, beige bombers and leggings (likely the dream job of every 20-something Communications major). They’re all about greeting everyone warmly and making eye contact that lasts a few seconds longer than it should. It’s giving rehab facility in heaven.

• The notorious VIP Lady from my last piece—she of the rather direct question, “what sizes do you wear in denim, tops, Italian and US?”—is here. She’s a mom now and seems much more grounded, but she clocks everything I’m wearing head to toe—I guess that’s her job.

• When I walk into the dimly lit auditorium, I see the tops of several heads. I wonder why so many have brought their toddlers to the event. And then I realized that it’s actually people kneeling while a shaman performs the opening proceedings. Let the suspension of disbelief begin!!

• Everyone looks great and, if my eyes don’t deceive me, it’s a bit more diverse…you be the judge.

  

• Further to diversity, there appears to be contingent of aristocratic South American women in attendance. Me duele las pompis (my bottom hurts), one of them says as the day wears on (same, girl, same…).

• There is a noticeable absence of brand name speakers. In fact, I have to Google each and every name—I recognize none of them. Gone are the days of Kerry Washington, Jessica Alba and Olivia Wilde victoriously marching on stage like Oprah is about to give them away. It’ hard to imagine that GP can’t corral some star power. The choice feels intentional, like she’s curated experts, not celebrities acting like experts.

• There are enough healthy snacks (air popped popcorn, sweet potato chips, gluten free coconut cookies (again a reminder that whatever gluten is, it’s delicious)) and drink (cold brew, green tea, every variety of nut milk) to sustain all the limousine liberals in Santa Monica, but there’s less excess than the last go around—it’s not as much lollapalooza, again a nod to being more intentional and meeting the moment.

• Lunch is from Goop Kitchen, which is one of her business verticals that is reportedly doing well. It’s good but just like I feel after a delicious sushi lunch, I’m hungry like 45 minutes later.

• By the end, my body can’t handle any more clean food and drink; it forces me to stop for French fries and a Diet Coke for the ride home.

AN ANTIDOTE TO THE BROLIGARCHY

And, despite (or maybe because of) all the woo woo, it was honestly pretty f’ing wonderful. There is something buoyant and life-affirming about sharing energy with hundreds of other women who are innately curious and believe that there is always room to know more.

So what did I learn: too much to convey here. The focus remains on that which intrigues Gwyneth. Menopause is very much on her brain (if I had a nickel for every time she said the word…).

All her other long-time faves got plenty of airtime: a sexy scientist confirmed that everything that ails or helps us begins and ends with the GUT, GP put on her librarian glasses to quiz said sexy scientist on MODALITIES related to AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASE, the word VAGINA was said tons of times, along with all the ins and outs (no pun intended) related to it—it’s health, happiness, and pH.

But there was less bluster, more calm and an audience that is aging alongside GP. And here’s the thing, once you make a decision to leave your innate cynicism at the door (which would behoove anyone who dropped good money on the ticket), it’s a beautiful ride.

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS

I wouldn’t be sharing the whole story if we didn’t address the business context in which Goop is currently living. The, 16-year-old company certainly has been going through it from a business perspective. If you are interested in the details, I encourage you to subscribe to the excellent newsletter, Line Sheet, by Puck. The long-time fashion and beauty journos Lauren Sherman and Rachel Strugatz spill the tea. Much of it is behind a paywall, so I’ll give you the topline.

• Goop’s no longer a start-up but reportedly is not yet profitable.

• The company has raised $140 million to date with a valuation of $380 million.

• They’ve had three rounds of layoffs since last summer, including some notable names on the editorial side such as Jean Godfrey-June who used to lead the now defunct Goop Beauty podcast as well as CMO Lauren Johnston (formerly of Google and only on the job for a few months). The downsizing is being done to give profitability a chance and to make the company leaner for some kind of exit.

• Julia Hunter, the former CEO of Jenni Kayne, has been appointed to the Board and is serving as a “fixer” who will help the company get focused (lack of focus has been a problem from the get go).

Interestingly, when it came time for the Ask Me Anything with GP at the summit, she led with that the announcement that Goop will, in fact, focus on beauty, content, fashion and food. My two cents would be to drop fashion all together. The clothing line, G.Label, is not that good; it feels knock-offy of pricier European designers. And how many puff sleeved items can a girl wear? Beauty, too, is okay, not terribly memorable. I’ve tried about 70% of the beauty offerings and have only reordered the Microderm Instant Glow (arguably their hero product). I would lean even harder into wellness—I think we’d all love to know the specifics of GP’s wellness routine—i.e., what supplements does she take and why?

A dishy piece of reporting from Line Sheet says that beauty, in particular, has struggled because GP doesn’t actually love some of the products she shills—the lip glosses, for instance. Line Sheet says, “she didn’t really care about them.” Interestingly, I had heard something similar about knitwear impresario Jenni Kayne, namely that the billionaire heiress prefers Celine and doesn’t actually wear her own brand. Does knowing this make me less interested in either brand? Not really.

It’s obvious, though, that GP is doing everything in her power to make a go of it. She’s already playing more roles within the company—she’s back, for instance, to hosting a good number of the Goop podcasts herself (a good thing because I never thought her various proxies (with the notable exception of Elise Loehnen) ever made for interesting listening). She’s a decent interviewer—even when she is pretending to be flabbergasted that a decent facelift now costs six figures (note: the podcast with aesthetic consultant (aka the “Beauty Broker”) Melinda Farina was a good one).

A TALE OF TWO GWYNETHS

GP faces a unique business conundrum in that it is that it is virtually impossible to separate the personality from the business. She faces this problem in a public facing way—if you feel negative about her, you might feel negative about Goop. And she faces this problem with regard to an exit strategy—can there be a Goop without Gwyneth?

Gwyneth is unique in that she is just one of those personalities that triggers some big feelings and, of late, she has been in the press for the strangest things.

There was, for example, that shitty thing to have happened with her pal, fashion journalist and celebrity hanger-on, Derek Blasberg. He reportedly soiled Gwyneth’s bed while staying in her Hamptons guest house after an Ozempic-spurred bout with diarrhea and then fled the scene. This was I’m sure an inconvenience for her housekeeper, not to mention gross. But the ugly part was that GP reportedly ratted him out to the likes of Oprah, the Seinfelds and Larry David.

We all followed her ski accident trial but then this absurd thing started making the rounds.

And no sooner did her daughter, Apple, have her debut at Le Bal in Paris, did reports surface that Apple is a mean girl who was recently expelled from Harvard Westlake for bullying. The Reddit trolls had a field day with, “the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…”

After a while, the senses dull to this barrage of negativity. Everyone loves a pile on when it comes to powerful women (see the excellent Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix).

OLDER, SOFTER, SURER…

Here’s where I’ve landed. As she ages, Gwyneth gets softer, surer, realer. It is my hope that as I age, all of those things are happening to me too, which is why I have more space for a person like her as a resource if nothing else. And, frankly, haven’t we all come across arrogant, bloviating people in our regular lives who haven’t even won an Oscar or been married to Chris Martin?

Two years ago on her 50^th birthday, GP penned a beautiful piece on Goop. I urge you to read it. The last passage in particular stayed with me.

“I would like to tell anyone that had a negative experience with me that I am sorry. I would like to fully acknowledge myself. I am imperfect, I can shut down and turn to ice, I have no patience, I swear at other drivers, I don’t close my closet doors, I lie when I don’t want to hurt feelings. I am also generous and funny. I am smart and brave. I am a searcher, and I can bring you along on my quest for meaning. When I love you, you will feel it encompass you through time and space and till the end of the earth. I am all of it.”

And that last line bears repeating: “When I love you, you will feel it encompass you through time and space and till the end of the earth.”

I feel this one because it encapsulates every individual’s fervent wish that those we give our hearts to will be careful with it…and at the same time serves as a reminder to be careful who you give your heart to.

But, mostly, it’s a manifesto for grace, encouraging us to make room for both the mess and the magic. Because we wouldn’t be human if we weren’t a little of both.

Xo

-P

Instagram: @priyaadesai1